LIB 32 – The Throwback Campaign, Session 15: I Am Not Going On Probably.

Duration: 6:23

This was not only the longest session yet, but end-to-end the best, providing a plethora of verbal gems. Andrew joined us, so we had 5 people on the line. It was noticeably harder to get a word in with the extra player, but after a short time we all naturally adjusted.

Making Introductions

We started outside the cave of The Menacing Mr. Cliff Stronghold. One of the first comments was regarding Grizzled Refugee being an ex-brewer without a brewing hammer. What is a brewing hammer?

A bald guy, wearing priest robes and a large symbol of Acen, sauntered into our camp. He was shaking his finger in the air… “You there!”

The normal considerations were offered up…

Spandau: “Get ‘em!”

Big Jim: “Sick the tiger on him!”

… followed by our typically colloquial first meeting…

Spandau: “So bald fatman, what brings you out into these high woods?”

Apical: “Is he actually fat?”

Spandau: “I just assume he’s fat.”

…

Unknown Stranger: “I am looking for a way back to town.”

Big Jim “We have one here. It is a secret passage. Right this way.”

Louis: *laughter*

Spandau: “This is really suspicious.”

Apical: “Do you know how to throw rocks?”

Unknown Stranger: “Why?

Spandau: “Are you a spy sent from our enemy Cliff Stronghold?”

Apical: “You have rather oily looking skin, perhaps we can interest you in some unguents?”

Spandau: “That’s true. We have quite a collection.”

Unknown Stranger: “Ooh!”

Apical: “Made with only the finest urine.”

Unknown Stranger: “Excuse me?”

Apical: “Never mind”

Unknown Stranger: “Did you say urine?”

Apical: “No. Where are you from?

Unknown Stranger: “Down south. Fennelton.”

Apical: “So your from Fennelton huh? You don’t look like a brewer.”

Unknown Stranger: “I’m not. Idiot.”

We learned this mysterious stranger is a devote priest of The Waiting, just like Jernix.

Jernix: “Maybe he has some sense after all.”

Spandau: “Why don’t you wait around out here while we go inside and handle business.”

Big Jim: “No. No. No. You can come along inside no problem.”

Louis: *laughter*

Apical: “What kind of abilities do you have… mister, what is your name?”

Unknown Stranger: “Zabi”

Big Jim: “Your voice is kind of funny. A little bit more high pitched.” (EDITOR’S NOTE: Do I smell some pre-game collusion?)

Zabi: “That is because I am Zabi the Eunuch.”

Spandau: “Ewww!”

*Zabi the Eunuch raises his arms hands towards the sky (presumable for some religious proclamation)*

Rob: “I have to test this guys story out. I run up and kick him in the nuts.”

*collective laughter*

Andrew: “What the hell is wrong with you?”

Rob: “I take advantage of your moment of weakness.”

Apical: “Too bad you didn’t have augury, you could have foreseen this coming.”

Jernix: “I bet he wasn’t waiting for that.”

Andrew: “Does it hurt when you kick a eunuch?”

Louis: “It is like being kicked in the ass. Or an old scar.”

Big Jim: “I don’t see how getting your nuts chopped off qualifies as being blessed.”

Apical: “Did you volunteer for this?”

Zabi (matter of factly): “Yes”

Apical: “Then there is no way I could be a member of the Waiting. I wouldn’t know what to do with all my free time.”

Jernix: “I am perfectly capable of waiting while banging out a few.”

Big Jim: “You can go in front because you have less to lose.”

We recanted the tale of Chris’s “36 Second Cleric”. He came upon us in an alley, while we were beating on some people. As it looked bad, he jumped in on their behalf. In six rounds he was done.

Big Jim: “We are going back to the city, through this secret passage, to avoid the Goblin hoards.”

Zabi: “So you’re handy with a blade then?”

Big Jim Umbrage: “What do you mean I am handy with a blade?! WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN BY THAT!”

Louis” *laughter*

Louis: “Big Jim Umbrage takes umbrage…. once again.”

Big Jim: YOU KNOW I AM A REAL HUMAN BEING WITH THOUGHTS AND FEELINGS. I AM NOT JUST SOME HACK MACHINE!”

Zabi entered the monastery as a young man. He was more congenial with Apical when he learned that he too spent some time in a monastery. Zabi’s monastery is no more. Proto-Humans and Zombies have been attacking Fennelton for weeks.

Zabi (speaking to Skon): “What ails you my son?”

Big Jim: “What the hell is wrong with this guy? Why does he talk so funny?”

When Zabi spoke to Skon he received an unexpected burst of personality.

Spandau: “Turns out you needed to speak to him normally.”

We noted that Skon gets poisoned a lot.

Zabi: “If I may join you I must gather my belongings.”

Apical: “What supplies?”

Spandau: “How much are they worth?”

Apical: “One more thing. You don’t have any interest in sticks and urine do you?”

*Big Jim laughs*

Zabi looks at Apical like he is an idiot.

Apical: “Good”

Andrew inspects the map…

Andrew: “Oh man, are all these guys part of your group?”

Aaron: “Yeah”

Andrew: “I didn’t realize there was such a huge party hanging out.”

Dan: “Don’t worry. It will thin out soon.”

Zabi heads back to get his supplies and his sister (and his donkey). Spandau volunteers to accompany him, but loses out cause he kicked him in the balls.

Zabi’s sister is a young (19ish), good-looking, non-mono-boob, unkempt, no toe-ring, burlap-smock-wearing, dirty waif. Zabi assured us she works hard. Her name is Heleth.

Louis starts looking for a token for the donkey…

Dan: “Do you have a token for my chamber pot, else I am jealous.”

Aaron: “If you do, then it better look nicer than the token for my chamber pot.”

Apical extends his hand to Heleth in friendship. She timidly shakes it but does not say anything. Zabi glares at her as if to say “Don’t fuck this up.”

Dan: “I knew this was a setup.”

Aaron: “We are going to find out that Andrew beats her on watch.”

Dan: “Oh… that’s alright.”

Rob: “Yeah, I’m fine with that.”

It is clear that Zabi treats his donkey better than his sister.

Zabi: “And this is Blue (donkey).”

Apical” “That is a fine ass you have Zabi.”

Zabi: “He is very sturdy and earns his keep.”

Andrew (as Zabi): “I stick close to my ass and make sure no one kicks him in the balls… strange customs here in the north.”

Andrew is exposed to MapTool… Dan draws a penis. Louis swears.

We discussed how you can just make up whatever holy symbol you want. There are no official symbols. Spandau’s is a twig and two berries. Jernix’s symbol is a mini sundial with symbol of infinity on the back.

Louis demanded this appear in the blog…

Andrew: “We are the worst roleplayers ever. We have no inflection. We have no… It is nice. I am so used to people fucking freaking out when you are not doing everything perfect.”

Louis: “What is this a LARP!?”

Andrew: “Yeah, that’s how they play now. All the younger people play now. That’s what they do. It’s so nice to be able to relax.”

Louis: “That’s because their own lives suck.”

*laughter*

Louis: “I want to see that in the blog entry.”

Aaron: “Hey, I’m recording.”

Louis: “Damn right! … their excuse for acting up and acting all fancy and you know weird is basically their lives suck. And probably underlining that are some suppressed uncertainties about their own sexuality.”

*laughter*

Concerning Zabi’s comments on Skon’s condition…

Louis: “He’s got 2 spider fang marks in his right arm.”

Andrew: “Are they all infected and inflamed?”

Louis: “No they’re not infected. Their just fresh.”

Dan: “We gave him a bandage and told him to suck it up. That usually works.”

…

Skon: “Well, I could really use the healing.”

Big Jim: “Oh listen to him.”

Zabi: “Kneel and pray with me.”

*Big Jim laughs*

Skon: “Is that really necessary? I mean, I’ll do it.”

Zabi: “If you wish Acen to heal you of your hurts yes, of course.”

Big Jim says something about also gaining a free vagina.

…

Andrew (describing Zabi): “His hands are real soft, and he massages over the wound.”

As is our MO Skon is healed 1 HP to a raucous crowd laughing in appreciation. This guy belongs with us.

Dan: “The Touch of Acen. Softens your hands while you heal wounds.”

Big Jim (addressing Heleth): “If we see any Kobold females I’ll take care of ‘em real quick.”

Big Jim tells Heleth to stick close to him.

Big Jim: “If anyone attacks from the front there is usually one coming from behind, and the one in the front is the weakest, so dive in front of me.”

NOTE: We are only 45 minutes into the session at this point.

When Zabi pulled out a bandage we learned it only takes a clean cloth to make a bandage. This drive a discussion on if we should expand our stick and urine store to include bandages.

Apical: “Is it really a bandage after to had been soaked in urine?” This is very Zen.

Big Jim: “Hey Leonard of Acen, what do you think about this so called holy man? *He’s always got something good to say.*

Leonard of Acen: “Well let’s see… *walks over to Zabi*… What do you think should be done wit non-believers?”

Zabi: “They should be burned!”

Apical: “You talk about being a holy man like it’s some special thing. There’s lots if people here that worship Acen.”

Big Jim: “Yeah! (bitch)”

Apical: “Like the whole world.”

Zabi: “Does the group have horses?”

Big Jim: “No. Besides they’d just get chopped up and eaten at some point.”

We briefly contemplated a goodberry scam, where we mix a few goodberries in a bowl with normal berries. Urine, sticks, and goodberries. Hmm… seems a natural progression.

Spandau argued that girls love the forbidden fruit, while Zabi contested that a gentleman presenting an odour of urine is “real nice”.

Jernix: “I am ready to wait for Acen, but I am not willing to wait for any more of this banter.”

We entered the cave…

Enter Cliff Stronghold

We told Heleth to gather some rocks in case she has to “mark the trail”.

We are now in a rush to cram every one of our fucks into the uber-narrow cave after an hour of fucking around outside. The tiger waits outside, but the donkey is dragged along.

There is a fucking calamity of voices as we pile into the cave, including Louis choking on his Mountain Dew…

IMPORTANT! This short (3:24) section is a microcosm of the collective roleplaying experience we provide. I stopped trying to report on this as I could simply not do it justice. The audio is well worth your time.

Just as Big Jim bashed open the door we heard, “ready…”

Apical (thinking a lightning bolt or catapult was about to come down the corridor at us): “GET BACK!”

We pushed the column of feebs back down the hallway briefly before continuing.

EDITOR’S NOTE: When making my initial notes I noticed I often mistype “Big Jim” and “Bug Jim”. Perhaps this is more appropriate

Big Jim: “We need a point man. Get Confused Foreigner up here since he doesn’t know what the hell is going on…. Keep moving until you are riddled with arrows, then you can stop.”

Amidst a lot of pushing and shoving we managed to slowly progress down the corridor. Confused Foreigner begrudgingly led the way, with Big Jim egging him forward at every corner.

After awhile we encountered a crossbowman, slingers, and some ax-men. Dan was irate Louis gave the donkey an initiative, while Grizzled Refuge slowed down the column.

Big Jim: “What I wouldn’t give for a cave full of Kobold females again… Get ready to get that moldy sandwich back. Confused Foreigner is about to bite it.”

Combat was aggravating at best as Murphy’s Law intervened to ensure the guy at the front of the column continually held the slowest initiative.

Confused Foreigner took a critical hit from a sling off the bat.

It was a good thing Zabi was at the back of the column, so he had no idea what was going on at the head of the column. It worked out well for his impression that we were traversing a short cut.

Big Jim: “Confused Foreigner ran because he took a rock to the face. What a pussy.”

EDITOR’S NOTE: I have continually paused because my eyes are tearing up. This is some of the best roleplaying, right up our alley, a gaggle of buffoons trying to move down a thin corridor.

Big Jim takes a critical in the head from a sling. Undaunted, Big Jim cuts the ax-men down while Confused Foreigner hesitated to advance, but eventually settled at a corner where we could squeeze past him. The column-dwellers started to grab and pull at each other to exchange positions in order to advance.

At this point we could write a book about caves with all our experience, but clearly we have learned very little.

There was talk of how a bandage makes a serviceable sling, so it doubles for offense and defense. Another possible addition to the stick and urine empire.

Apical (in reference to Confused Foreigner): “You know we can’t expect a lot from a guy who gets paid in sandwiches.”

After this combat was over we moved on.

Second Level

Big Jim fell into a pit. Again. We then remembered to do the blind man pole thing.

We encountered a ladder, leading up to a second level. To whit we sent Confused Foreigner.

As we continued down yet another blasted corridor, Zabi grabbed a torch off the wall so the back half of the line could see, instead of pushing each other in the dark.

While waiting for an extended period for the column to proceed up the ladder (except the donkey), Zabi broke into his liquor supply. Spandau delayed ascending the ladder as he is afraid of heights.

Zombies!

Dan: “Initiative doesn’t matter because we are all in a fucking single ass line!”

Apical: “From now on all you fuckers in the back hold your action until the asshole in front you you moves, so maybe we can get something done.”

Zabi: “At least I can see the zombie this time, last time I didn’t even see it.”

Berserkers! (no parlaying)

Even the new guy, Zabi, noted Spandau’s cowardice.

Zabi grabs Irritable Gnome and hauls him on his shoulders…

Dan: “You gently pull him up with your soft, subtle hands.”

Irritable Gnome fails to climb onto Zabi’s shoulders, so it looks like they are gropping each other, but there is nothing to grab on Zabi. Basement!

Big Jim and the favored son, Leonard of Acen, formed up front with Apical firing arrows form behind.

Louis: “Zabi (your turn)?”

Zabi: “I watch the head of the guy in front of me.”

Louis: “Spandau?”

Spandau: “I lean against the wall and drink from my wineskin.”

Zabi: “I take a swig and pass my wineskin to the Gnome.”

Irritable Gnome: “This is no time for drinking damn you!”

The Bersekers stopped advancing so we advanced down the corridor. Leonard of Acen tried to coax them into the open… “I went berserk on your mom!”

Big Jim: “I would say take prisoners but they are just going to strangle them during interrogation again.”

We spied a bunch of archers, Protector, and Leader!

Spandau finally entered the room to club the stunned guy.

Big Jim and Leonard of Acen went after Protector while the rest of us took on the archers. The group got excited when we realized Protector has plate mail, but were quickly disappointed when we realized he is a Dwarf.

Everyone finally got into a large room and they still bottled up near the entrance.

Witch!

Spaudau failed to charm an archer. Confused Foreigner hit an archer.

Protector swings at Leonard of Acen… critical!

Big Jim: “Nice knowing you Leonard.”

Louis: “18 points of damage”

Leonard of Acen went from 1 point down to -11 in a single blow.

Big Jim: “Well, at least we’ll get our long sword back.”

Louis: “He stuck it into his liver and twisted and pulled his entrails out onto the floor.”

Zabi: “Did he do that cool thing where he flicks his wrist and the arc of blood …”

Big Jim: “Hey! Hey! Hey! This is Leonard of Acen we’re talking about. He’s one of the guys we actually liked.”

Big Jim: “Alright you clerics, from now on you concentrate completely on cure light wounds. No more of this light shit.”

Spandau: (finally entering the room): “I declare an end to this. I will now unleash the full furry of nature’s power…”

Big Jim: “Would you just get your insects out here please.”

Zabi, tired of being trapped behind the group plows into the man in front of him, failing. He stumbles backwards. We were reminded of the infamous “bowled over by a fat one”.

Witch attacks Seeker with spiritual weapon… Seeker goes down dead immediately.

Louis: “Rolling a CON check… 1.”

Zabi: “I’d say he is now one with Acen but demi-huans have no souls.”

Irritable gnome, on Zabi’s shoulders, rolls a 1 on his attack. He then fails his DEX check and crashed to the floor, tumbling backwards, and lands in Leonard of Acen’s entrails.

Leader backstabs Confused Foreigner, who goes down, but not dead… yet.

Apical: “We are not fighting Kobold ladies anymore.”

Big Jim (regarding Confused Foreigner): “At least we can get those 3 javelins back.”

Spandau: “And those sandwiches.”

Big Jim: “They probably spilled out all over the floor.”

Big Jim (referring to Heleth): “Hey, if she’s not doing anything she doesn’t get a share of the loot.”

Zabi: “My sister? She doesn’t get any loot. She cooks and cleans. That’s’ her job. She gets to eat. That’s her reward.”

The Leader woke up from being stunned and booked… he ran through a curtain in the other room. Witch tried to follow after but was taken down by the insect swarm. Big Jim ran through the curtain and found Leader who was standing immediately on the other side, flanked by zombies. Apical ran in behind Big Jim. Grizzled Refuge retreated. The rest of the group marched up the curtain, but not through it.

Zabi: “What the fuck is this, a game of chess? move up!”

Apical steps through the curtain, and nails Leader when he puts his fist out in front of him and runs blindly through the curtain.

Louis: “Grizzled Refuge…”

Big Jim: “What does he do? Let’s see his ‘big move’.”

Louis: “He moves up. Spandau?”

Leader screamed something about Acen, Lord of the Undead. This angered Zabi.

Big Jim: “Well, technically, since he is the only deity, he is.”

In general the group was partially befuddled by the curtain and everyone refused or failed to tear it down, including Geornas, until Zabi finally succeeded.

Big Jim downed Leader. Apical ka-blam-oh’d a zombie, leaving brains under his fingernails. Zabi then downed the last zombie. We hauled the bodies back into the previous room to strip the bodies.

Spandau takes the expert leather armor…

Spandau: “I’ll take the -1 AC for the better look (referring to the face that “expert” implies a fancier finish than his Cure Boil).”

Big Jim: “For gods sake. OK, what are you going to put back in?”

Spandau: “You can have my qua-vu-lay.”

Big Jim: “Your what?!”

Spandau: “The proper way to pronounce it is qua-va-lay.”

Louis: “Not in Vestibule it isn’t.”

Jernix scores the Dwarf-sized Plate Mail…

Spandau: *complain*

Big Jim: “Hey, he’s been around longer than you. He’s very useful.” (This coming from the man who frequently receives 1HP at a time in healing from Jernix.)

Andrew (as we tally up every liitle thing we can get our hands on): “I can’t believe you guys keep track of this stuff.”

Dan (mocking our hired feebs and their loaned equipment, explaining to Andrew why we keep track of this piddly shit): “I can eat for a week on this spear!”

EDITORS NOTE: I almost snarfed on this one as I was not expecting anything at the time.

Andrew: … I’m like Mitchel.” (Andrew’s previous character)

Dan: “Stop talking about Mitchell, it’s a new character.”

Andrew: “No I meant Mitchell from the Mystery Science Theatre.”

Dan: “Well stop doing that too.”

Spandau: “I’ve got a plan. Why don’t we send a scout ahead?”

Big Jim: “OK, go ahead scout.”

…

Apical: “Well we can’t send Confused Foreigner. We won’t know what the fuck he reports back.”

Zabi: “If no one cares I drag the two bodies into the corner, pile them up and set them on fire.”

Louis: “You cannot get a good burn on two bodies in a cave.”

*pause for some minor chaotic talking*

Big Jim: “Your stinking up the place. You freaking moron.”

*more chaos*

Big Jim: “Will you stop that.”

We decided to hold up in the big room for the night.

We took the heads of Leader, Witch, and Protector to show the Thieve’s guild.

Big Jim: “And the Witch’s uterus.”

Apical: “I’m not taking that.”

Zabi: “It will probably make a valuable spell component. She might hide something in her snatch.”

Apical: “That’s gritty.”

Big Jim: “Are you gonna set that on fire to find it?”

Zabi orders his sister to make dinner. She has to make a suitable meal or she’ll be beaten.

Zabi: “These men worked hard. They are holy warriors of Acen.”

Big Jim: “Yeah, so take this beef jerky, and these berries, and this old granola and make a good stew.”

Irritable Gnome is more trustworthy than Zabi because we met him two days before Zabi. It was Irritable Gnome’s fault that we kicked Zabi in the balls because he lied so much about his abilities.

Heleth has to make the bed rolls, clean the weapons, dishes, gore…

Heleth: “There is no water?”

Zabi: “Spit works.”

Andrew (as Zabi): “I tell her not to bother with the dirty hippy because he likes it.”

She piles the gore in the corner.

Big Jim: “At this point she is just moving the gore around.”

Please Just Watch

It emerges that Zabi and Heleth are going to Lordshome to inspect the crystal. This sparked the traditional religious conversation as we “settled down” for the night. EDITOR’S NOTE: No other campaign has had such reverence.

The discussion ensues…

Big Jim: “Maybe you should have spoken up sooner instead of hanging out in your dumb ass monastery.”

..

Zabi: “All things come in time.”

Apical: “Except for you. You don’t got no dick.”

Andrew (as Zabi): “He expects nothing less from a half man.”

Apical and Heleth find themselves on watch together. Apical questions Heleth and inspects her for any bruises or scars on her scalp…

Dan: “No, she is only mentally abused.”

Apical: “Nothing wrong with that. If she was stronger she’d be able to fight back.”

…

Apical: “If you feel you are being treated well, then OK, but if you fell you are being treated unfairly then you have to take matters into your own hands. The only one you can count on in this world is yourself.”

Heleth: “I can count on my brother.”

Apical: “He is looking pretty raggedy and old. Did you see the bags under his eyes. He’s not going to be around forever.”

…

Heleth: “I was raised that Acen will tell us nothing until it is time.”

Apical: “Well, I am telling you it is time to start practicing with a club or something on the side.”

This is worth another audio clip.

Apical tries to convert Heleth to the self-reliant, and tries to get Heleth to practice clubbing on one of the bodies.

Heleth: “The idea of slipping this into the corpse is gruesome.”

Apical: “Then close your eyes.”

…

Apical: “All right, I’m done talking to you.”

---

Louis: “Who’s next on watch?”

Aaron: “Zabi and Irritable Gnome. This is where we are all going to die.”

Zabi peaks down into the darkness of the formerly curtain covered hallway. He listens real hard, and something attacks him out of the darkness. He is caught from behind by a Wight!!!

It swings out of the darkness…

Louis: “You have to roll a natural 20 or else it drains your life.”

*rolls a 19*

Louis: “Uh you almost did it but you die. You are instantly dead.”

Dan: “Well, we’ll look after your sister for ya.”

Useless for anything besides jokes to this point, Irritable Gnome woke us up before we all died.

Aaron: “You are the worst watcher ever. Not only did you die, but you didn’t even scream.”

The Wight begins moving on the party.

Big Jim: “Fuck this! Fuck this! We are not getting involved in this.”

Apical hits the Wight with an arrow for 4 points…

Louis: “It does no affect.”

Big Jim: “Alright, now everyone follow my lead.”

Dan (to Louis): “Louis, I run.”

The party made an expeditious retreat.

Aaron (to Andrew): “I don’t think your going to be on the dead pile alone for long.”

Jernix tries to turn undead… success!

Big Jim: “That gives us enough time get the hell out of here.”

The party had virtually nothing they could do against the Wight, not even knowing what it was.

Big Jim: “Are we all in agreement? Spandau?”

Spandau “Do you even have to ask?”

Dan: “Success boys. Just like in Iraq.”

Aaron: “Wow, that was quite an encounter.”

Dan: “I think Louis was fucking with us cause he knows we always clear out a level.”

…

Dan (on the definition of powerful): “I can’t walk up to it and attack it and do any damage. It is powerful.”

…

Louis: “10 flasks of oil was probably enough to kill it.”

Dan: “Well, I am not going on probably.”

It was like our first time playing DND.

We realized we left a good morning star on Zabi’s body…

Louis: “Well you can always go back.”

Dan: “Fuck that.”

Zabi will arise again as a Wight in 24 hours…

Aaron: “That means when we come back we will have to bring his sister so she can get closure.”

Andrew will return as his own sister the thief. She was promoted to a level 1 thief by Apical’s speech.

We go back to town to heal. Spandau took the tiger for a walk to relieve himself on the neighbor’s lawn. We identified the wand and scroll from before, then swapped some new items into Jorge’s field of vision and go about our business.

We realized Gomwell is still there, waiting until he shows us the tunnel.

Big Jim takes a long nap, and fills up his fancy chamber pot then tosses it to Heleth.

An argument ensued about if Big Jim would throw a full chamber pot inside his own home without the lid screwed on. Zabi would then blame Heleth for the mess…

Dan: “Excuse me. Let me play my character. That was YOUR character. MY character wouldn’t risk his valuable chamber pot that way.”

Andrew: “Your character takes umbrage at everything.”

Dan then read off his elaborate description of furniture.

Spandau’s custom, heart-shaped bed will be ready tomorrow.

We all slept, woke up and healed. Big Jim and Spandau argued over if a hole in the head or a blister was a worse injury. Jernix healed Big Jim the customary 1HP.

We gave Skon the severed heads and sent him to the Thieve’s Guild to report our success at the Cliff Stronghold and that “there is nothing left alive”.

The party wondered as to what had happened to all the stuff the Easterners looted from the Thieve’s place that was raided?

Big Jim: “It is obvious that the Wight has it. OK, the official story is it has been carted back to their evil lair in the East.”

…

Skon: “Maybe we can get somebody more powerful to take care of it for us?”

Big Jim: “Hey, that’s pretty insulting. Just because we ran away screaming doesn’t mean we aren’t powerful.”

There has been no more hassling at the stick and urine stand. Over the last 2 days the social order has begun to break down. The conscription has the support of the populace. Some noble had his throat slit the other night, Lord Severine.

A discussion started, which included debates about how lords became lords and if they are really useful, and how leadership is earned. Should we battle like barbarian tribes? (I’ll leave it to the reader as to who proposed this.) Jernix butted in on how Dwarven leadership are handed down… “Incest?” Big Jim wondered.

We plan to add Leonard of Acen to the official charter, then inform them of his death, thus awarding him post-humously…

Big Jim (referring to Leonard of Acen): “He wasn’t very deep, so I think we found out all there was to learn about him.”

Andrew: “Maybe that’s what she’ll (Heleth) do with all her gold, buy a really good NPC.”

Dan: “That is not going to work in this gritty campaign.”

Dan made it very clear that we wanted it on the record that Zabi was tricked into entering the cave with us under the guise that we were heading back to town through a shortcut.