LIB 30 – The Throwback Campaign, Session 13: At Least He Died Doing What He Loved

Duration: 5:52

I theorize this session will be remembered as the pivotal point in the campaign. The time when the scope of the campaign exploded. With that build-up, on to it…

This session was to begin with a mission to the Thieve’s Enclave outside of Sengazia to bargain for a test sample of disguise potions, for our foray into the East. We discussed the option of the worst possible disguise potions if they do not allow us to speak/understand Goblinoid. Deciding to worry about this probably outcome when it surfaced, we tabled the discussion.

Preparing for the mission, back at the Honeycomb Hideout, Scon wandered in. He informed us of city planning a conscription to complete the wall around the Noble Quarter. Blood began to boil.

We decided to take Jernix, and reward Sludge for his time staring at a potion, with some action. In an exhibition of nimbleness we uncovered Sludge’s DEX 16. So the league was set, and we exited the comfortable confides of the Clubhouse and set off for the Guild Enclave.

You Wouldn’t Want to Meet Them in a Dark Alley

On our way through the city we came across a hooded man attacking a bump. We chased him down a dark alley, stopping dead in our tracks as we came upon Hooded Fanatics, Masked Men, and Mystery Priests surrounded by corpses.

Mystery Priest: “No witnesses!”

… and he battle ensued.

The Mystery Priest (2) sent a line of Hooded Fanatics at use with torches. EDITOR’S NOTE: The torch has become a common weapon after we started selling them in the Merchant Square.

The party started off strong, felling the Fanatics with no trouble. In the meantime one of the Mysterious Priest approached and hit us with a Soundburst. EDITOR’S NOTE: We need to hire one of those. This stunned Big Jim Ubrage while killing on of the Priest’s own Masked Men.

Big Jim’s intricate knowledge of soup kitchens led him to question why they clubbed bumps in broad daylight instead of luring them into an alley with soup.

Hooded Fanatic 10 was left with a choice of biblical proportions; allow himself to be eaten by eats, or wait for his friends to burn him to death as they wildly swung their torches across his body to dissolve the swarm.

Big Jim’s new combat dominance was heartily welcomed as he was able to cleave the Hooded Fanatics down in pairs. During the bloodshed we made the unholy discovery that the Fanatics, presumably just like Scotsmen, are naked under their robes. Grizzly wound or dirty cock, take your pick. Gritty.

Even Goldthwaite roared into action, taking down a Hooded Fanatic with a nasty scratch.

Sludge was viciously cut down by the tough-guy Masked Man 4. Sludge was left bleeding uncontrollably on the filthy stone street.

It was now that the tide started to turn back towards the veiled posse as Mystery Priest 1 sprinkled some dust upon his collected pile of corpses, causing them to rise into Fresh Zombies. Not to be outdone in callousness, Mystery Priest 2 hit the party with a second Soundburst. Big Jim was not enveloped this time, but Spandau and Apical where stunned, and poor little Goldthwaite was nearly slain.

Incensed by Sludge’s end, Big Jim threw all his Umbrage at Hooded Fanatic, “His rat gnarled corpse can go to hell!”

Spandau cleverly warped the wooden handle of Mystery Priest 2′s mace, rendering it useless, and emasculating him.

Beginning a run of infuriating maneuvers, Mystery Priest 1 brought Masked Man 4 back form the brink with a Cure Light Wounds.

The long ago risen Fresh Zombies finally arrived in round 6. Big Jim was quickly beset by Fresh Zombies.

Apical embedded his fish into the cavity of Masked Man 4, but Mystery Priest 2 again healed him.

By this time poor Sludge, as the first official member of Acen’s Angels to do so, bled to death helpless and pathetically in the middle of the alley.

Big Jim: “At least he died doing what he loved.”

Continuing his humiliation of Mystery Priest, who whipped out a lit torch, Spandau created water, extinguishing the torch, and any remaining masculinity of the Mystery Priest. Leaving the sad friar holding a wet stick, not even worth a copper.

Revealing a new secret, Jernix froze Mystery Priest with a Hold Person. This sparked a revelation that you cannot spoil yourself when held, as your sphincter is wired tight; a sleep spell however… Gritty.

Twice a Fresh Zombie critically poked Big Jim in the eye for 2 points. In return Big Jim stroke over to the held Priest and poked him in the eye. This was followed by Goldthwaite’s massive ankle bite, which send the Mystery Priest into a death spiral until Spandau stabilized him such that he serve as a prisoner.

Apical ended the encounter surprisingly close to death, having lost 29 of his 35 HPs.

We took back our equipment from Sludge’s corpse, as he would have wanted us to have it back.

Farewell Sludge. Official member of Acen’s Angels, potion identifier extraordinaire, and Penultimate latrine digger. He did doing what he loved.

Fallen Hero or Mass Grave?

We returned to the Angel Cave to recover and question the Mystery Priest, but before we could, a discussion surrounding how to properly honor Sludge took place. As Sludge was an official member we decided it was right to bury him in the backyard. We argued over who would do it, and in the end we paid Jorge a gold piece to dig a “respectful” grave.

Skon had strolled in, having waited outside until our return. He reported a rise of violence in the city. We surmised this is linked to other cloches of masked hooligans creating Undead within the city limits.

The Mystery Priest gave us little information other than he is from the country-side outside Sengazia.

Spandau slapped the prisoner around when Big Jim tried to play”good cop”, but in his zeal, sent the Priest into unconsciousness again.

Fed up, we left for the hall of records to remove Sludge from the charter.

We passed some quarantined homes. The town crier shouting news of a plague in Sengazia, and reports of citizens with “oozing sores.”

Luckily the Adventurer’s Guild has already opened a fresh bottle of cow’s blood, so for a minimal fee we removed Sludge and added Skon to the charter. In retrospect I don’t know why we added Skon as we are not as non-shall-ant about his spying, and actively try to avoid him.

The charter master told us there is talk of expelling the Adventurer’s Guild from the Noble Quarter, as it is “not appropriate” to have a place where feeble clerks work within a stone’s throw of Nobility.

Apical’s blood began to boil over the political picture of Sengazia. Now he and Big Jim are a pair of dissatisfied homeowners.

We decided to bring Leonard of Acen, Filthy Brawler, Nimble Ex-Drunk and Quiet Burglar to the Guild Enclave as backup, or is it front-up.

Before dumping our prisoner at the Crusade, we ditched Skon.

Re-awakening the prisoner for a final go-at he kept professing his desire to die by fire. He is from the East, and woke up here. He claims to be a priest of the true faith of Acen. And most blasphemously proclaimed Acen Lord of the Dead?!

Enough of this shit we left him with Lt. Jonas.

Mystery Priest: “When I die I will serve Acen again.”
Big Jim Umbrage: “Good for you. Keep living that dream.”

Mystery Priest: “There is no wizard who can compare to the power of Acen, Lord of the Undead!”
Big Jim/Apical (simultaneously): “Shut up.”
Big Jim Umbrage: “I guess we are tired of this guy.”

Big Jim and Apical were incensed to learn 3 of the senior priests from The Keepers were now working with the Crusade. So we took 25gp for our trouble and left.

Big Jim: “You know, maybe it will be nicer on the other side.”
Apical: “Yeah!”
Big Jim: “That is what I am thinking.”

This campaign was voted the worst since Gehenna.

Basement Horror

We arrived at the Guild Enclave to find the building in ruins, having recently been burned down, however we heard sounds coming from the basement.

Jernix cast light upon Big Jim’s shield and we headed into the basement to investigate the moans…

Reaching the sub-level we were surrounded by zombies, fresh zombies, and could spy a gnoll in the next room.

As we started to whittle the zombie hordes down, reinforcements arrived: more gnolls and a pair of armed skeletons bearing two-handed swords.

A zombie charged forth and kicked Goldthwaite into oblivion, despite his cover under a table.

Leonard of Acen distinguished himself, felling a zombie on his lonesome, and lending considerable aid to Big Jim in downing the armed skeletons.

Jernix practiced his turning abilities in a failing manner.

Nimble Ex-Drunk fell to Fresh Zombie.

Regrouping himself, Jernix finally turned the final Fresh Zombie.

Apical shared his secret of monkly mental toughness, doing long division in his head.

Louis: “Armed Skeleton, having no concept of self-defense… dies.” (by swarm)

The party worried when a tiger showed up, but to their collective cheer he attacked the gnolls.

After a pathetic outset, Quiet Burglar finally found his footing when one of the gnolls circled around to attack us from behind. Quiet Burglar nimbly scampered through the crowded room and landed a critical on the gnoll, ending his days.

We beat the tiger to zero and tied him up so that Spandau could try to befriend him.

Just as we sought to catch our breath 3 skeleton reinforcements emerged. Quiet Burglar destroyed Skeleton 2 with a dart, and Jernix sent the other 2 skeletons fleeing as a result of his turning.

The party split up in chasing the final 2 skeletons, passing a dead rogue body.

Filthy Brawler chased a turned skeleton down a corridor and around a corner to encounter 2 zombies and an Armored Fighter! Filthy Brawler took a quick step back to flee, but a moment later Armored Fighter stepped up and cut Filthy Brawler down, luckily (?) he was left unconscious on the ground.

As if the Armor Fighter was not enough, a female Fanatic appeared.

Armored Fighter charged at the open Apical but was surprised as he passed Quiet Burglar so he stopped to swing and beheaded Quiet Burglar (20!)

The party breathed a collective sign of relief as Jernix whipped a Hold Person upon the Armored Fighter. Spandau, distraught by tears, still managed to set a rat Swarm upon Armored Fighter.

Fanatic grabbed a torch and burned the swarm to the edge of death (can you do that to a swarm of rats?).

6 damage = a clocking
7 damage = a slamming

Filthy Brawlers last hoped for life were removed as his bits where consumed by a passing rat swarm.

Spandau tried to hold the Hold Person the Fanatic, and failing, was held back himself.

The Armored Fighter briefly escape his hold, raising tension in the room, but Big Jim finished him off before he would cause more trouble.

Now surrounded by Leonard of Acen and Apical, the Fanatic suddenly cast the room into darkness. Apical made a good guess and stunned the Fanatic, and in the darkness tore into her, making sure she was not to rise again. Leonard of Acen claimed blindness.

The party hunted down the final 2 skeletons and stoned them from a distance.

We discovered a living young rogue named Larome.

He recanted how only an hour before a large force, with catapulted destroyed the upper dwelling, then zombies and gnolls poured into the basement. This army came form the East, and moved on.

We found the rogue corpse to be Gayorg, a senior to Larome.

We looted the enclave, finding no disguise potions, and will escort Larome to the Guild headquarters within Sengazia.

The Fanatic has a map that led form some unknown location towards the East to the guild enclave. We also found a map to a Minotaurs lair, and a book entitled “The Wisdom on Acen.”

The entire party explored the ruined top-side while Spandua took a chance with the 1HP tiger to charm him. Success! Goldthwaite may have fallen, but Kan (a la Serkan of the Jungle Book) arose.

Spandau reached 4th level.

Leonard of Acen earned Ranger-ship because of this distinguished service and hatred of proto-humans.

Revelations

“The Wisdom of Acen” appeared to be a Keeper religious manual, and what we uncovered was world-shaking…

1. The Eastern orders worship a dark being called Sakella. Who grants them their powers. Sakella is a force created by Acen to test mankind.
2. Acen has set the East against the West in order to create a loyal armor of warriors. This army will be used to fight a battle when the end of the world occurs. Even those who fall in battle now may become part of the army of the dead which is growing in an underworld below Vestible.
3. Those of the Self-Reliant and the Self-Actualized should be watched carefully because followers of those paths often become proponents of the heresy of revealed truths.
4. Acen’s power emanates from a massive crystal inside the volcano at the top of the world. The Light-Bringers have a shard broken off this crystal stored inside their fortress in Lordshome.
5. The cities of the East have a pact with the Elves of the Western forest. During the next invasion the Elves will betray the Western cities under the cover of night.

Lots of immediate discussion occurred. To summarize…

Big Jim: “You know. I think it is time to cut and run.”
Apical: “Yeah. The West is fucked big time.”
Spandau: “Maybe the heroes can overcome their personal politicos to save the day.”
Big Jim: “Yeah. Fuck that.”
Apical: “We’re fucking fourth level dude.”
Big Jim: “I don’t think their is a more convincing argument than that.”

We discussed getting a letter of recommendation from Gomwell.

Apical: “I am starting to think Acen is a real cock-hole.”

This campaign is now the worst to live in.

We picked a bad time to become home owners, and Spandau may never see his heart-shaped bed delivered.

We scheduled the next session immediately.