Duration: 6:45
Well, the roleplaying kept on going in this one. We dove head first back into the gritty campaign. As you recall, at the end of last session we decided to buy a house in the Western Residential District. This first 4 hours of this session were spent berating Louis into a floor plan, and about our neighborhood. We have a foyer, a small backyard, and a crawl space!
There was a surprisingly detailed discussion as to the bathroom situation. The house has no outhouse, and the neighborhood shares a communal bathroom, which is a few blocks away. Acen’s Angels are better than that, even if our mascot likes to eat calves. Our first idea was to utilize Sludge’s latrine expertise and install an outhouse in our backyard. In the end we settled on purchasing chamberpots and hiring a “House Castelian” to empty them twice a day. After this I can guarantee you no campaign in the history of RPGs is as fucking gritty as this one.
Spandau ascertained, flawlessly, that our lawn is in poor condition.
Before leaving we discussed the various essentials for HQ: chamber pots, cooking pots, guard dogs, secret exits, fences, fireball insurance, and a goat.
We set forth on a shopping spree to furnish the Acen’s Angels HQ, after making a brief stop at the Adventurer’s Guild to add Spandau to Acen’s Angels registry. Oh, and then we got side-tracked in checking in with Lt. Cook as to our next mission. We discovered Lt. Cook was off preparing to lead a mission, so we were back to good ole’ Lt. Jonas. We passed on the Orgre mission and decided we could handle an Orc outpost, provided we used a cunning plan to defeat them.
Back to the shopping. The first stop was Janel’s Woodcrafters, where we each ordered a bed, some where more concerned with quality of sheets and stain selection than others. We also ran through the selection of mattress filling. Apical was happy with the standard woven corn husk and cotton, while Big Jim and Spandau have already forgotten their roots and demanded goose down. Apical’s only customization was shorter legs on his bed, while Spandau ordered a heart-shaped, over-sized, red-stained bed with an extra fluffy, goose down mattress and red velvet sheets. Big Jim ordered a sleigh bed, while Spandau also ordered a finely crafted dresser. We each ordered a chest, and a 10-person table with 10 accompanying chairs.
Next, on a recommendation from Janel, it was off to Lanara’s Textiles. Big Jim and Apical purchased standard pillows, sheets, etc. while Spandau became obsessed with finding a properly matching color for his heart-shaped bed. Here he gave the first quote of the night, “I burn off a Light spell so I can inspect my swatches in the proper light.”
We next ventured to Exquisite Living, a new super-store that caters to a better class of people. Our personal shopper, Filagree, showed us their fine line of chamber pots with copper inlay, an extra wide rim, and a tightly fitting lid. We all purchased said pot, although Jim went for the battle scene painted on the side, while Spandau elected for the woodland scene.
there was some talk of creating a “Thunder Bucket”, a chamber pot with a Bag of Holding lining.
We dodged Filagree’s upsell attempt of a spy glass, and pulled Spandau away before he purchased a full-length mirror. He is a druid in case you forgot.
Next Filagree brought us the Exquisite Living’s security section, where we purchased locks for the chests we had bought earlier. Big Jim purchased a lock with a poison needle trap to start a new enterpirse as he will loot the bodies he plans to occationally find at home, perhaps he needs to setup a shack with a poison needle trap in the slums and just move it around – like the modern day EMP/ATM plan.
Mr. Traskellion took the opportunity to brag about his magic means to defend his treasure.
The next piece of business was to hire a house boy. The first to step up was Jorge Lavendez, to whit “He better not say one syllable wrong as I have “next” on the tip of my tongue.” Jorge turned out to the be one. He had chamber pot experience, and could provide his own gloves. Our extensive background check involved asking him for his last name. Dan provided the other line of the session, “What would you say is your greatest weakness?” Too eager to please was his answer, which was acceptable, though Rob would have answered Kryptonite. Jorge’s former employer was killed by an Ankhad, which led to Dan reading directly off his Louis-provided backgroundm proving we have made more use of our initial backgrounds in this campaign than any other. We hired Jorge for 45sp/month.
While a formidable force of Big Jim Umbrage, Apical Meristem, Spandau Traskellion, Jernix, Scon, Sludge, Stumbling Drunk, and Quiet Burglar, we needed more. But how could we find more top-notch gentlemen to complement these? Back to the slums to recruit. We doubled our rate to 6cp/day and attained a new level of quality, some included equipment. This better quality of semi-thug still did not allow us to escape rock-throwing.
Louis crafted us some more winners:
- Home Invader – looking to leave town
- Sniveling Wayne – embesseler
- Ornery Ex-Cooper – lost shop due to ill advised gambling bet
- Leonard of Acen – proud of turning his neighbor in
Jim bought some javelins and darts for these fuck-faces, but after a basic economics class by Spandau, pointing out that even the darts were far more valuable that their pay, Jim decided to hold said munitions until we were in the cave.
There was some debate, and a drawn conclusion that you can shove 10 goodberries in your mouth per round. This was later rules lawyered you can imbibe up to 8 goodberries per day.
The party took a shine of Leonard of Acen, poking into his background.
Big Jim was at his old tricks again, spreading doubt, in that if you do not see something you do not really KNOW.
Rob tried to draw out the session cause he gained a level at the end of the session in any case
On the way to the Orc outpost we encountered 2 Black Bears, but they were scared off by making a lot of noise, under the tutelage of Spandau. He is continually proving to be the most useful Druid we have ever had.
We drew up a plan to prevent ourselves from being bottle-necked. We surrounded the cave entrance and mapped out an Entangle spell. We sent Quiet Burglar into the cave to draw out the Orcs. He was struck down before he go away, but he managed to lead all the Orc Guards outside. We never needed the Entangle spell as we managed to stone all the Orc Guards before they got to us.
After the last Orc Guard fell, we waiting for more Orcs to emerge, but Leonard of Acen could no longer contain his rage, and dashed into the cave.
Goldthwate at calves.
Rule Note: after a NPC has been with us for a few missions we can control them in combat.
We killed the rest of the Orcs without incident, after which a prompt sign-off was had given the time.
This was the greates session ever! We do need to make a list of past and future part members, and what happened to them.
I started one. Check out the “Obituary” link at the top of the page. Let me know if I missed anything. I only added members who died according to the old blog posts, but we need to add those that left for various reason.