LIB 19 – The Throwback Campaign, Session 2

For session 2, a real battle map and encounter statistics were prepared in advance – a rarity indeed. We got together via MapTool and Skype to play out the impeding raid on the mysterious warehouse in the slums. Much hilarity ensued as the PCs attempted to select their icons for play, and opinions were rendered on the sexual orientation of the images. Apical and Big Jim were accompanied to the nefarious site by Assistant Constable Garack (wearing a golden colored helmet and wielding a long sword) and 5 men-at-arms in the employ of the City Watch. Naturally, it was determined that the men-at-arms should storm the door of the warehouse first. Since there was no other entrance, the “plan” consisted of piling through the front door and crushing all resistance through force of arms.

The plan quickly bogged down when the first two men-at-arms through the door stopped to fight a thug that was just inside the doorway. Since the men-at-arms would not get out of the way, the group was forced to very slowly push forward as thugs were cut down left and right. One of the men-at-arms was grievously wounded during the battle, but eventually two ruffians were put to the sword and the party marched into the darkened warehouse. After a quick looting of bodies, the posse moved forward into a narrow hallway and was confronted by a guy throwing clubs, who put another man-at-arms down. Between the man-at-arms and Big Jim, the club thrower was soon slain. Beyond the narrow hallway was a common room with stairs leading up and down. At this point the group had a choice: Up, Down, or search for treasure. Naturally a search commenced, turning up a few decent items and many low quality household goods as well. Since the door to the basement was locked, the team of men-at-arms proceeded up the stairwell.

Upstairs, another man-at-arms nearly went down as he was surprised by a vicious dog while the group tried to open a chest, but Big Jim dispatched the snarling canine with the aid of another man-at-arms. Unfortunately, a barbarian was in the room from which the dog emerged, and a pitched battle ensued. At this point Apical laid into the barbarian with a powerful stunning blow, and Big Jim dispatched Brackshar with a mighty swing, saving the life of the half-dead man-at-arms. More searching revealed a note indicating that the basement door should always be kept locked, and a key to the door. The locked chest however turned out to be empty.

The group, now consisting of 3 men-at-arms (2 badly wounded), Apical, Big Jim, and Assistant Constable Garack (who hadn’t even made it upstairs), now proceeded to the basement to see if the women that had been kidnapped could be found below. However, as Apical descended the stairs, a tripwire opened up two crates to reveal horrible undead skeletons. The skeletons promptly attacked and began trying to tear the novice monk apart. Some quick action by Apical and Big Jim defeated the monstrosities, as they were assisted by some rocks thrown by a man-at-arms.

In the basement was nothing but trash, although Big Jim found some dirty rags and old clothing that looked like they might fetch a few coppers. There was a hole leading down into some sort of cave, and a discussion ensued. Garack tried to back out of accompanying the heroes into this cavern, but some fast talking by the PCs convinced him and the staggering men-at-arms to press onward. Upon descending a rope into the cave, there was quite a bit of laughter because the map of the cave looked somewhat similar to a phallus. After this bit of juvenile levity subsided, Big Jim took the lead down the passageway. Climbing over a mound of dirt, the group encountered a few giant ants; the ants took out yet another man-at-arms before being slain by a combination of Big Jim’s sword and rocks thrown by the city watch. Big Jim suffered an acidic bite which required some healing, but the party pressed onward after finding a couple of gold pieces on a corpse.

Pressing onward into the cave, the group encountered four kobolds, two of whom were dart throwers. Apical wisely chose to utilize his bow while Big Jim and the men-at-arms engaged in melee. After defeating three of the four kobolds at the cost of yet another man-at-arms, one of the darters fled into the  darkness and the party gave chase. Apical and Big Jim rounded a corner in hot pursuit, only to find that eight more kobolds, half with darts, awaited them in the cavern beyond. A desperate battle ensued, in which darts and short swords faced off against Big Jim’s brute strength, Apical’s archery, and Garack’s rock throwing prowess. Somehow, the players and Garack survived (curiously as rear guard, Garack was untouched). Despite their weakened condition, the indomitable heroes pressed forward and located the kobold subchief and his guards in the final chamber. The kobold subchief was a dangerous opponent, armed with a stone battleaxe instead of a stone dagger, and Assistant Constable Garack finally deigned to engage in actual melee against him. Through the combined efforts of the three, victory was won by a narrow margin; even Garack sustained a wound. Searching revealed some additional equipment, a map from the exit tunnel to a kobold lair near the mountains, and two captive women (a halfling and a gnome; both fat and unattractive peasant types).  These women had apparently been subject to some type of heinous involuntary breeding experiment by the kobolds. They explained that other women were hauled off presumably to the main kobold lair.

With the rescue mission complete and the evidence in hand, the party returned to claim their reward (10GP) from the city guard. Brother Meriam at the shrine of the Self-Reliant provided some modest healing in the form of cure light wounds spells, and Big Jim planned to sell the party’s hard won gains the next day. Because it was late, the duo decided to bed down at the Horse’s Head Inn (after all, Big Jim had prepaid a week in the basement). As he settled down to sleep, Big Jim was annoyed by the sounds of another bum repeatedly getting ill (vomiting, moaning over his chamber pot, etc.) After repeated admonitions to “shut up over there”, Big Jim stealthily drew out one of the crude  darts he had taken from the kobolds and flung it towards the afflicted hobo in the darkness. Jim scored a direct hit and the man began convulsing due to a punctured lung, causing a great commotion as some of the other bums rushed over to help, carrying him up for medical treatment, etc. Jim settled down to try and get some sleep, but shortly thereafter the Inn was woken up by a large contingent of the Merchant Watch planning to search the basement. Everyone, including Big Jim, was evicted from the basement and tossed out into the street. In the confusion, Jim left his bag of crude darts under his “pillow”. He slept the rest of the night in nearby Gruntor’s stable (good thing he grew up on a farm).

In the morning, Apical joined back up with Big Jim and the party proceeded to sell their goods. Suits of leather armor and some cuir boille were flogged to Rohan’s Medium Armory, various weapons were sold at Valerie’s Flails and Sundries, and then it came time to sell an amber and copper ring found in the hideout. Big Jim took this item to Dankesh’s Gems and Jewelry and proclaimed that his grandmother had just died, and they needed to sell this ring which was a precious family heirloom to help pay for her burial expenses. He reckoned this valuable item was worth no less than 100GP. Dankesh snorted and offered a much smaller sum, less than 10GP, for the ring. At this Big Jim was greatly incensed and proclaimed “you are disrespecting my dead grandmother! Why, you might as well dig up her dead body and crap down her throat!” Dankesh immediately asked the players to leave, which they did but not without some protests from Big Jim. Following this Big Jim took a slightly less confrontational tone with Dor Ismail, gnomish jeweler at the Gnomish Gemcutters Guild, and was able to get a fair price for the ring (about 10GP) – but not without some intense negotiations and a few insulting statements by both parties.

Finally there was the matter of the stone daggers, crude flatware, and other miscellaneous goods such as belt pouches obtained from the adventure. Apical and Big Jim returned to the slums and began selling the stone daggers to anyone who would pay – no questions asked. Several malcontents and persons of questionable mental state walked away with a fair deal on an untraceable stone dagger, and the party walked away with cold hard silver pieces. The filthy household goods were sold to poor peasantry and brought in a few coppers. During this day of mercantile success, Big Jim and Apical once again met up with Will the ex-Wagonmaker; he had started re-training due to a city program for ex-wagon industry workers, and was now running  a stall in the flea market selling belt pouches. Satisfied with their take, the party resolved to look for more adventure after they had healed from their wounds.